Saturday, June 07, 2008

Re-imagining D-Day

Roger Kimball imagines the news from 64-years ago today as it would be reported by today's news media:
Breaking news! US Army pinned down in bungled assault. Huge civilian casualties. Experts fear grave damage to the environment!

June 6, 1944. -NORMANDY- Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more wounded today in the first hours of America’s invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children.

Most of the French casualties were the result of the artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops. Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated and reaction against the American invasion was running high. “We are dying for no reason,” said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. “Americans can’t even shoot straight. I never thought I’d say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler.”

The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, threatening the species with extinction.

More on D-Day here and here.

This video from 2007, particularly the second half of it, is a classic:

Hat tip: Instapundit.

No comments:

Clicky Web Analytics